I suppose I will use this as a prequel to “I am a whore” because the commentaries in this story are somewhat connected to the future text.
I’m sure many of us know the feeling, in any context, of getting unwanted opinions from those around us, rather it is family, friends, or my personal favorite— strangers. Though it is a personal note to say that unkind words from those dearest to you are the ones that hurt the most.
There is no first time to remember unwanted opinions, they merely come clustered together like a swarm of flies— a cloud that horror that you have no choice but to encounter until the moment is over. So, in the sake of accounting for every distasteful thing that has been said to me (who could even remember), I will share several small pieces with you.
Story Line One:
A girl walks into a room, in a beautiful white fitted dress, hair in wand curls.
A male family member spots her immediately, gives a mischievous chuckle, and says “Whoa! you’ve put on a lot of weight” and proceeds to laugh again. “What happened?”
Story Line Two:
A girl walks into a party, in causal jeans and a loose top, hair in a low cut.
A woman's family member spots her immediately and shakes her head. “Why did you let yourself get that big?” “Your dad told me you gained a little weight, I guess you got that freshman 15 didn’t you…looks like a little more.”
Story Line 3:
A girl walks into a house, in loose pants and a fitted shirt.
“Mm, I really want some chocolate chip cookies”
A commenter responds “You don’t need any”.
Story Line 4:
A girl walks into a church, in jeans and a top. She sees a female member who she hasn’t seen in a long time; waves eagerly and smiles.
A female member comes over.
“Look at you! You’ve gained so much weight! Look at those cheeks!” Grabs the girl's cheeks.
“And your legs” Grabs the girl's legs.
“Wow!” Slaps her stomach.
The girl feels like punching the church member.
This Concludes a few storylines of me when I was bigger.
Enter storylines of when I was skinny.
Story Line 1:
A girl takes a walk in a tank top and shorts.
“Wow! What’s your diet? I need to eat like you.”
Story Line 2:
A girl enters a banquet room.
“You got so skinny! I need to do what you’re doing.”
Story Line 3:
A girl enters a grocery store.
“You’re my body goals.”
Story Line 4:
A girl enters a barbeque.
“I see you’ve slimmed down. You didn’t like that weight did you?”
Concluded a few storylines of when I was skinny.
As a person who has fluctuated weight (like many people), it is galling to feel and hear the sympathy in people’s voices when you are bigger versus the praise you receive when you are smaller. Most of the time, it is based directly on appearance. One of the things that saddened me during many times I was at my biggest, was that several people never took the time to recognize all the uncounted days I was truly my happiest.